Today as I was scrolling through my camera roll, I came across a quote that I took a screenshot of from last week. I remember being drawn to the content and wanting to capture it for possible revisits. Today was one of those days.

The quote from Henri Nouwen, reads “We tend to stay away from mourning and dancing. Too afraid to cry, too shy to dance…we become narrow-minded complainers, avoiding pain and also true human joy. While we live in a world subject to the evil one, we belong to God. Let us mournand let us dance.

I am someone who experiences big “feels.” I am a classic oversharer. It’s hard for me to repress all the emotional undercurrents. I surrender to the sweeping movements of emotion and I seek to share with anyone who is kind enough to listen. All too often, I recognize the expression of panic as I venture into conversation at an accelerated pace. Most are not wired like me or ready for me.

The truth is that I cry often. I experience grief with an overwhelming magnitude.

I also scatter gratitude to a degree where others uncomfortably characterize it as “insincere.” The joy, too, can be bigger than life and difficult to contain.

Here’s the thing, I don’t want to dismiss any of it — the pain or the joy. God calls me to saturate myself in where He takes me in the moment. If I being honest, this can be a moment by moment transition.

Even now, my heart is breaking over the breakdowns of so many relationships. In the midst of all of the agony and suffering, I experience God diligently loving with deep extravagance. So many feels in the same context.

Lord, help me to be okay with the tears when the flow and people gather. Help me to surrender the shame when I am dancing and others are mourning. Help me to live in complete submission and fierce transparency. Let me mourn and let me dance.